Relationship Skills
There are certain skills that are necessary to establish and maintain close interpersonal relationships. The relationship skills seem simple, but some of them can take great courage. Love is not a feeling; it is an action. We must love in action and in truth. To love someone, you must be dynamically involved in that other person’s individual evolution. Love is not self-oriented; it is other-oriented. There also is the love that you show yourself. This is when you are involved in your own growth.
How to Love
The first skill you need to have in relationships is love. Love is and action. You are interested in and actively involved in the other person’s individual growth. You are there for that person when he or she needs your help. You respond to how the person feels and what he or she wants. You tell the truth all of the time. You are willing to spend your time and energy being involved in the other person’s well-being.
How to Commit
The second relationship skill is commitment. You must commit yourself, on a daily basis, to working on building the relationship. This means that you work to provide a safe atmosphere in which the relationship can grow an atmosphere full of love and trust. You dedicate yourself to the relationship. You must take time necessary to nourish yourself, the other person, and the relationship.
How to be Encouraging
The third relationship skill is to be encouraging. You must encourage the other person to reach his or her full potential in life. This takes a lot of reinforcement and praise. No one needs to be punished and criticized. People need soothing and encouraging words. They need to know that you have faith in them, that you trust them and that you will help them to grow.
How to Share
The fourth skill is sharing. You must practice sharing how you feel and what you think. You must ask for what you want. You cannot keep these things to yourself. The relationship will falter if you withhold the truth. If you keep your feelings and wants to yourself, your relationship will not work. Your partner cannot guess what you want.
How to Compromise
The fifth skill is compromise. No one is going to get exactly what he or she wants in a relationship. You have to create an atmosphere of give and take. You must be willing to respond to how the person feels and what he or she wants. Compromise creates an atmosphere of fairness and equality. Always ask yourself what you would want if you were in the other person’s position.
How to show respect
The sixth is establishing a relationship filled with respect. This means that you show the other person that he or she is important to you and you do things that make that person feels special. Therefore, you do not treat that person poorly; you love him or her too much for that. When this person is happy, you feel happy.
These relationship skills take practice. They will not come easily. You need to work at telling the truth all of the time. You need to practice being encouraging. You need to practice sharing how you feel and asking for what you want. You need to develop the skill of commitment. You will struggle at first when you compromise, but it will start to come easier. You need to work at showing someone you love that he or she is important.
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