Lying Children

Lying Children

Lies during childhood or lying children are complex and it is often difficult to understand the reasons why they occur. Understanding and awareness of this phenomenon is important because it helps to prevent and minimize their occurrence.

When the child lies might be to satisfy his self-esteem. These needs arise during the development and about 6 years old, the action to lie is a response to a bad intention. In early childhood, a psychological state and its surroundings can cause this action to lie and even to be part of their adult life.

At about the age of 3-4 years old, children through these experiences, make their own dynamics, imaginative play and share these with adults and/or other children. This process helps them develop more complex areas that will impact later the development of their own personality. Experiences during this process can promote two results:

• The child develops mythomania behavior (pathological lying) and may permanently live in a world of fantasies even in adulthood.

• The child will learn the value of truth and will later adopt it as part of their repertoire of moral/ethical behaviors.

The important persons who take care of the child have an important role in this process. If during this development the child is provided with care, attention and are taught by modeling guidance and assertive and positive social behaviors, the child will develop a healthy self-worth. This will allow the child to balance their personal needs with the demands imposed by the environment. It will also develop a healthy identity that will help them adapt to the social world, through self-improvement and competition.

The child who learns to speak the truth, in many cases is because the unconditional love received, the attention or care for their emotional and social needs during this process. By not feeling that they must lie to be accepted and loved, they learn to suppress the desire to lie and therefore assume the consequences that lead to lie, for example, to be punished by the bad action incurred. The important people for the affective needs and nurturing of the child who do not offer care and attention in this process and does not teach the importance of telling the truth as a principle of self-love, will be promoting the child to adopt and learn that they need to lie or that only with lies they will receive recognition, acceptance and importance. This, in the worst cases could cause a serious psychopathology, because it will be difficult to distinguish between what is real and unreal, affecting their social relationships in the future and choose to live a life of fantasy.

The child who has adopted this behavior may do so because:

▪ Need to attract attention, because otherwise the child would not do it and do not feel important.

▪ At home it is not allowed a genuine self-expression, to freely behave in the way they want, because there are strict controls and authoritarian parenthood.

▪ In the home could be a normal and natural behavior of lying to conflict situations and/or there are problems related to emotional instability. Therefore, the behavior of lying is imitated as it is normal for the child.

▪ The child is mocked, ridiculed and devalued when they appear as they want. Therefore, prefers to lie and live a fantasy to escape their painful reality (I'm not important).

▪ Nobody takes the time to teach the child that it will be better if you learn to tell the truth and there is no positive reinforcement to this action (to tell the truth).

It is important to take time in early child development, to allow self-expression and to teach the merits and the importance speaking with the truth. I suggest that instead of paying attention to the lies incurred by the child, provide more attention to the reasons and motives for lying, giving more importance to the truth. Reinforce and teach the value of speaking honestly and real. Promote any action at home that enables a healthy, safe and self-esteem with the truth. These are just some of the things you can do and think if your child is lying or in early childhood development (because there is always a first time).

Reference: www.ub.edu.ar/investigaciones/tesinas/163_lapidus.pdf

Tkach, C.  (2005). La mentira Infantil.Tesina.

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Most effective PTSD therapies are not being widely used

Most effective PTSD therapies are not being widely used, researchers find

Post-traumatic stress disorder affects nearly 8 million adults in any given year, federal statistics show. Fortunately, clinical research has identified certain psychological interventions that effectively ameliorate the symptoms of PTSD. But most people struggling with PTSD don't receive those treatments, according to a new report.

For full report: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/04/130411152401.htm

For more information about treatment for PTSD:

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Overwhelming Emotions

Overwhelming Emotions

People struggling with overwhelming emotions often deal with their pain in very unhealthy, very unsuccessful ways because they don’t know what else to do.  When a person is in emotional pain, it is not unusual to hear them to be rational and to think of a good solution. Nevertheless, many of the coping strategies used by people with overwhelming emotions only server to make their problems worse.

Here is a list of some common coping strategies used by people dealing with these problems:

1.       They spend a great deal of time thinking about past pains, mistakes, and problems.

2.       They get anxious worrying about possible future pains, mistakes and problems,

3.       They isolate themselves from other people to avoid distressing situations.

4.       They make themselves feel numb with alcohol or drugs.

5.       They take their feelings out on other people by getting excessively angry at them or trying to control them.

6.       They engage in dangerous behaviors, such a cutting, hitting, picking at, or burning themselves or pulling out their own hair.

7.       They engage in unsafe sexual activities.

8.       They avoid dealing with the causes of their problems, such as an abusive or dysfunctional relationship.

9.       They used food to punish or control themselves by eating too much, not eating at all, or throwing up what they do eat.

1     They attempt suicide or engage in high-risk activities, like reckless driving or taking dangerous amount of alcohol and drugs.

All of these strategies are a path to even deeper emotional pain, because even the strategies that offer temporary relief will only cause them more suffering in the future.  Traumatic Incident Reduction (TIR) is a technique that has been proved to resolve overwhelming emotions.  In Mindful Journey Center we use this technique, please contact us by email: irodriguez@mindfuljourneycenter.com or by phone at 954-376-0496 for a consultation about how TIR can help.

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Critical Issues in Trauma Resolution

"Critical Issues in Trauma Resolution Seminar"

Mindful Journey Center and Applied Metapsychology International are proud to present today Dr. Moore in Puerto Rico for "Critical Issues in Trauma Resolution Seminar".

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Academic motivation and study habits

Academic motivation and study habits

The academically motivated children are those who want to learn, they like learning-related activities and believe that school is important. Children are naturally motivated to learn from very early in their lives. We see this in the effort babies make to reach for a toy, they can learn to walk or eat without help. This early motivation to learn is then applied to school-related activities, such as reading and writing. However, some children do not show this motivation because something has interfered with their natural motivation. When this happens they think they cannot do their homework and stop trying or do not try because they believe that that makes no difference. Because they stop trying, they do not learn successfully.

The negative beliefs that children have may respond to different factors. These include what kind of ability they possess to respond, as well as the attitudes that they show their parents about the issues. In relation to the ability to learn, we mean that learning can be difficult because of learning problems, difficult temperament, developmental delay, depression or effect in chronic stress. Alternatively when we say adult’s attitudes, we mean that parents influence what children think about their academic achievements. The unrealistic standards may dampen the motivation and efforts of the child.

Some practical recommendations that will help you get your child to motivate and maintain study habits are:

• Cooperate with your child's teacher.

• Teach habits that promote learning

• Establish a routine for studying. Your child should know when they are expected to work on their homework each day.

• Provide a study place where your child has all the necessary materials and be as quiet as possible.

• Ensure that your child completes homework at home before doing other activities that may be distracting.

• Work with your child's teacher.

• Show your child that you respect his or her teacher.

• Communicate regularly with the teacher so they both know what is happening at school and at home.

• Cooperate with your child's teacher to make sure he will learn good study habits.

It is important to note that academic effort can be improved if the significant adults/parents maintain good relationship with the child and they feel that the school is important. It is important to teach good study habits and give recognition to their success because it keeps promoting motivation to study.

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