BE HAPPY TOGETHER

BE HAPPY TOGETHER

Getting married, living together and lead a happy life, has always been a controversial issue. For many, a fantasy, for others a reality. Very often people have irrational thoughts and beliefs about marriage or conjugal union. Unfortunately, for many these issues are perceived as an action that limits and/or deprive freedom and autonomy. But what truth there is in these beliefs? Is it possible that the origin of these ideas, perceptions and beliefs are the product of social learning?

There is no doubt that society has much to do with this reality. Negative experiences of others, among other factors promote this kind of belief. "Will you throw a rope around your neck," a phrase very popular when it comes to these matters. Why this action is perceived this way? There is no better explanation than ignorance.

Marriage is a social institution that creates a conjugal bond. The individual interpretation we give marriage depends on the meaning and value we give to love and the conjugal bond. When you are in a relationship where you think and you feel that you cannot be authentically you, it is very likely that the desire and fantasy of being alone originates, due to you start to need time to be alone. It is at that moment when feelings of resentment, anger and frustration start causing conflicts in couple’s life. In some cases, infidelity.

A conjugal bond is considered healthy when both people visualize the union to enjoy each other, as they are guided by a commitment, responsible vision of respect and not individualistic (selfish). The union is not just being together in good times only, nor does it grant the right to any party to appropriate or govern the other depriving of the freedom to be authentic. If you think and perceive this union in this way, you are basing it on a belief system that is far from what is truly love. Surely you will live in a troubled, unhappy and stuck relationship.

It is not healthy to negotiate the freedom to be independent and to be who you are. Why think otherwise? Why think that we should have a passive or submissive role? Married life is a matter of loyalty, responsibility commitment, trust, respect individual needs and a decision to freely share who we are, without losing the personal identity. Married life does not confuse the reason to be together. Among the reasons for wanting to be together and share one life is because being together adds value to their lives; sharing their freedom, while being who they are, while remaining autonomous and everything else. "I am happy and happier when we are together."

Dr. Caroline Rodriguez

Psychologist and Counselor

http://www.mindfuljourneycenter.com/happy-together/

https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/103275411681777111390/103275411681777111390/posts

A serious fall may develop symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

A serious fall may develop symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder 

Article in “Health Behavior News Service” shows that older adults who experience a serious fall may develop symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in the days following the event. Women, people who were unemployed or who had less education were more likely to report post-traumatic stress symptoms, as were those with injuries to the back or chest. "Anyone who goes through an accident in which they feel their life may be in danger or they could get physically harmed can develop post-traumatic stress symptoms," the author states.

For the article: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/09/140911163114.htm

http://www.mindfuljourneycenter.com/

FULFILLING YOUR GOALS: IDENTIFY AND ELIMINATE OBSTACLES

FULFILLING YOUR GOALS: IDENTIFY AND ELIMINATE OBSTACLES

Take the opportunity to continue or start new objectives (goals). Goals you want to achieve in your life and you have identify that you want to explore new avenues that will allow you to feel better about yourself and certainly will give you the opportunity to have a healthier lifestyle and happiness. For this, you have to establish what many people call the ‘resolutions’.

The word resolution implies action and effect to work something out. Resolutions are usually things that you want to achieve, such as quitting smoking, losing weight, finish an academic degree, changing jobs, among other desires. Now, the easy part is to wish and decide. Once you have done this, you need to have ideas of what actions you must do to achieve it and develop a plan of action. However, if during this journey you feel your goal is unattainable and you begin to experience and feel discouraged. What happened?  You will never accomplish anything.

IF YOU IDENTIFY WITH THIS EXPERIENCE I INVITE YOU TO THINK ABOUT SOME OF THE POSSIBLE FACTORS THAT INTERFERE WITH ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS.

1. Lack of self-efficacy. The term self-efficacy (Bandura, 1977) represents a vital aspect when we make changes and develop new behaviors. Without it there is no motivation and therefore, your behavior will not promote you to move to a different situation. A person with a sense of self-efficacy is one that truly believes it has the capabilities to perform in all he seeks to achieve. This is necessary since it will allow to get the results you want. Ask yourself: Do you really feel able to achieve it.

2. Cognitive Distortion. Lack of self-efficacy influences the way you feel, think and act. If you have a low sense of self-efficacy you will experience low self-esteem because deep inside you do not feel you’re good enough or able to do. You begin to feel, think and act like you’re not worthy to make those changes in your life and the positive things you want for yourself. This could involve feelings of sadness, anxiety and helplessness.

3. Old habits of behavior. Habits are learned conduct patterns and that are basically automatic and reinforced as part of you for long time. These serve as elements of self-sabotage. Some people sabotage themselves with postponing the start of new actions (habits), allowing their behaviors and emotions control them without paying attention to what they do or do not do.

4. Unreasonable expectations. When proposed objectives are too far from reality and/or personal resources, which will allow you to reach your set goals. To questions, if it is really possible to achieve what you want is a good thing. Otherwise may result in feelings of inferiority and frustration.

5. Unrealistic time expectations. Significant changes take time, therefore, be cautious in giving in before obtaining the desired results and achievements. Remember the great results are not immediate. To think otherwise could ruin your plans. 

6. Not having clear objectives and/or priorities. If you are not truly aware of your goals and your set priorities in your life; it will be difficult that your everyday actions will allow you to take the time, energy and attention to achieve your goals.

7. Negative interpersonal relations. Unfortunately, we live in a society that emphasizes the negative and reinforces conformity, failure. Stay away from every relationship and interaction with people who in one way or another do not promote the achievement of your goals. You really do not need them. 

You most likely identify with some. If so, add them to your list of resolutions. Take each obstacle and consider it as one more goal to solve. Identify possible solutions for each obstacle and create an action plan to resolve each. Review your goals and the steps needed to achieve your goal. Use a flexible table that you can modify as need it over time. Keep a journal where you can write everything and track your efforts and progress. Identify and write new obstacles that may arise along the way (remember everything is not perfect and there are things out of your control). Keep the notion of how you may solve any problem with the obstacles that may occur in meeting your goals. Finally, watch your thoughts. If you believe in yourself and persist, you will achieve your goals.

http://www.mindfuljourneycenter.com/fulfilling-goals-identify-eliminate-obstacles/

https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/103275411681777111390/103275411681777111390/posts

Dancing Mindfulness Facilitator Training

Dancing Mindfulness Facilitator Training
By Mindful Journey Center
 Fort Lauderdale, FL, May 1-3 2015

If you are currently teaching any type of wellness-related class (yoga, Pilates, Tai Chi, dance, related modalities), if you are a classroom teacher, or a licensed/trained helping professional of any kind (e.g., counselor, psychologist, social worker, nurse, psychiatrist, CD counselor), you are welcome to take this weekend facilitator training intensive! Graduate students are welcome. You MUST complete the whole weekend agenda to be awarded certification on behalf of Mindful Ohio. 


Mindfulness is the simple practice of noticing without judgment, savoring the art of being in the moment. Mindfulness, psychodrama, meditation, and yoga are modalities that can promote wellness and recovery. "Dancing Mindfulness" is a practice developed by clinical counselor Dr. Jamie Marich incorporating all of these elements. Dance becomes the primary avenue through which to access mindful awareness! There are seven basic elements of a "Dancing Mindfulness" class (breath, sound, body, mind, spirit, story, and integrated experience) to help participants experience the attitudes and benefits of mindful awareness. "Dancing Mindfulness" classes range in length from 30 minutes to 2 hours, and they can be designed to accommodate a variety of populations in various settings (e.g., yoga studios, community gatherings, clinical settings, dance studios, churches, gyms).


For more information and to register: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dancing-mindfulness-facilitator-training-certification-intensive-tickets-15249745399
http://www.mindfuljourneycenter.com/dancing-mindfulness/

Life in Dicipline

Life in Discipline

The psychiatrist, M. Scott Peck, in his book The New Psychology of Love (1999) makes interesting proposals on how discipline is necessary to solve the life problems, very important aspect of a healthy life. As we know, the problems are part of the human existence. This is because we do not have full control of what happens to us. Some of these problems are personal in nature, sentimental, social, family, work, etc. It is a difficult and unpleasant part of life, due to unpleasant feelings (anger, sadness, anxiety, frustration, etc.) produced in the person.

In childhood, which is an important stage of the formation of the personality, the development of behaviors and strengths are promoted to allow address in a responsible and healthy way all the issues. If this does not happen will develop negative attitudes (resistance, avoidance) to the problems and sufferings, causing conflicting lives and in some severe cases, mental illness develops.

The author believes that the problems are the boundary between success and failure. Also that it is the route to live with courage and wisdom. According to Dr. Scott, there are four elements representing discipline. The development and application of these, it helps to have healthy lifestyles, balance and successful. These are postponing satisfaction, acceptance of reality, dedication to truth and balance.

Below, we briefly present these 4 elements:

1. Postpone satisfaction:

What five-year old child will be pleased with the responsibilities at home and/or school? Well, it will all depend on the love and discipline they receive from their caregivers. Here is where you must learn to be organized and discipline. Above all, learn to wait and postpone pleasures. In this experience, we teach them to accept and live with the unpleasant feelings generated by ‘problems’. The result is: a responsible adult with character facing their problems and unpleasant feelings because he is aware of the benefits. The adult is able to voluntarily postpone his satisfactions and pleasures.

2. Responsibility: 

Being responsible to assume that I am the only one to handle, resolve and face my problems. An alteration of what it means to be responsible could result in the development of two types of people: the neurotic person and the person with a character disorder. The neurotic person is one that alters their sense of real responsibility and assumes too much responsibility (“must “, “should”, “must not”) experiencing the feeling of always being the culprit of the problem and everything that happens to him. This will cause to feel very overwhelm, showing little self- esteem and value, due to everybody else comes first. On the other hand, the person with a character disorder, defined as one who lives in despair with society, avoiding any unpleasant experience involving facing and solving their problems. People who choose not take enough or any responsibility for their life and prefer to automatically think that the world is to blame for everything that happens to them. This results in continuous conflict with the outside world. The reason for this style of thinking goes back to not learning that the suffering and pain is part of life, and help with the spiritual/emotional growth as human beings. Both cases impaired the growth and spiritual/emotional maturity as human beings in life. So, accept responsibility remains the first choice, even if it means, to experience suffering.

3. Dedication to reality:

The more connected, aware the person is to his true reality, the better prepared will be to face and overcome any problems. This will allow acting with courage and having a continuous progress.

4. Balance:

Being organized, living with sanity, spontaneity, flexible and disciplined, even if these means those others may be affected. Here is where you waive the desires and feelings of satisfaction, ecstasy and pleasure, so that it can be painful and uncomfortable, but necessary to advance in life and transcend. Generally speaking, if these practices are adopted in life, there is no doubt that we would be giving us the opportunity to be happy, happier in some cases, even in times of adversity and suffering. It is important to receive and take a look at the discipline and suffering involved in a positive approach to life. Teach it and practice it.

http://www.mindfuljourneycenter.com/life-in-discipline/

https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/103275411681777111390/103275411681777111390/posts

How can therapy help me?

How can therapy help me?

A number of benefits are available from participating in therapy. Therapists can provide support, problem-solving skills, and enhanced coping strategies for issues such as depression, anxiety, relationship troubles, unresolved childhood issues, grief, stress management, body image issues and creative blocks. Many people also find that counselors can be a tremendous asset to managing personal growth, interpersonal relationships, family concerns, marriage issues, and the hassles of daily life. Therapists can provide a fresh perspective on a difficult problem or point you in the direction of a solution. The benefits you obtain from therapy depend on how well you use the process and put into practice what you learn. Some of the benefits available from therapy include:
1) Attaining a better understanding of yourself, your goals and values.
2) Developing skills for improving your relationships.
3) Finding resolution to the issues or concerns that led you to seek therapy.
4) Learning new ways to cope with stress and anxiety.
5) Managing anger, grief, depression, and other emotional pressures.
6) Improving communications and listening skills.
7) Changing old behavior patterns and developing new ones.
8) Discovering new ways to solve problems in your family or marriage.
9) Improving your self-esteem and boosting self-confidence.
http://www.mindfuljourneycenter.com/how-can-therapy-help-me/
https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/103275411681777111390/103275411681777111390/posts

Boundaries, your best ally for Happiness

Boundaries, your best ally for Happiness

Boundaries are your best ally for happiness when you use them to your advantage. The boundaries are the limits between two things. But, what has this to do with happiness? From the psychological perspective presented here, the boundaries help us to establish a balance between our personal needs and the needs of others. The boundaries can be considered your best ally in happiness when they contribute to healthy relationships and a lifestyle out of stress.

According to Dr. L. Pederson (2014), there are different boundaries that establish and maintain the values and security in your life. She also mentions that the boundaries are conditional to your personality, something that makes it a bit complex because these are not universal, rather unique and exclusive to each person. The following are four types of boundaries that can lead you to happiness, according Pederson. These are:

• Physical boundaries. Anything that includes some direct physical contact with you. Includes all levels of physical intimacy and sexual practice. Furthermore, what we allow to enter our body as food and beverages. In other words, anything that affects your physical well-being.

• Psychological boundaries. Includes all information about yourself, your thoughts, beliefs and values. Who knows about you and how that information is shared? Here, we include everything even conversation topics and anything else that occupies your mind space.

• Emotional boundaries. Feelings, emotions and their influence on you. How these can affect you and manipulate you. Also includes not expect anything from anyone, nor that others expect anything from you in this regard.

• Spiritual boundaries. The ability to choose a religion, spiritual life, or any other spiritual power.

• General boundaries. Everything that defines and differentiates you from others and differentiates the others from you. It is everything you need to stay healthy and safe in your relationships.

For you to practice this every day we will suggest you can reflect and describe each area boundaries that are important to you. That is, on paper describes the specifics of what physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual and general boundaries you want for yourself. Once you have done this, remember them and keep these in your mind, as these are protective factors against unhappiness and conflicting relationships in your life.

To know more about you, is the beginning of following a healthy lifestyle, aligned to your needs and psychological security. What do you think, are you ready to try it?

http://www.mindfuljourneycenter.com/boundaries-best-ally-happiness/

https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/103275411681777111390/103275411681777111390/posts

Communication Skills 101

Communication Skills 101

In developing communication skills, you need to learn how to listen and how to share. You need to understand where the other person is coming from, and you need the ability to express yourself clearly. People communicate with words and actions. Tears or and angry voice can say a lot. You need to be sensitive to both verbal and nonverbal behavior.

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to put you in other person shoes. Understand how the person feels. You are on the same wavelength. To develop empathy, you practice paraphrasing what the other person has said until you get the communication correct. The other person needs to be encouraged to correct your mistakes until you have the message exactly right.

Validation

The other person has the right to his or her opinion, and that opinion always should be important to you. This is an essential element in healthy communication. People need to be validated often, particularly when they disagree with you. Not everything that a person says is wrong. Find the areas that you agree on and emphasize those areas. Always pick out the things you have in common and bring out those points for discussion.

Be Reinforcing

Compliment the other person. Say something nice. Tell the person how much you appreciate him or her. Try to be patient and kind. Give the person your full attention. Try to understand the person’s point of view. Be positive Always try to find something positive to say to the other person. Even when you are disagreeing, you need to show the other person that you are going to be reinforcing. This shows the other person that you respect and care about him or her. Be genuine in your commitment; do not say something that is not true or that you do not feel.

Use Eye Contact

Good communication skills necessitate good eye contact. If you do not look at the person, you will miss a good deal of what the person is saying and the meaning he or she is conveying nonverbally. It also shows the person that he or she is important enough to warrant your full attention.

http://www.mindfuljourneycenter.com/communication-skills-101/

https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/103275411681777111390/103275411681777111390/posts