Life in Discipline
The psychiatrist, M. Scott Peck, in his book The New Psychology of Love (1999) makes interesting proposals on how discipline is necessary to solve the life problems, very important aspect of a healthy life. As we know, the problems are part of the human existence. This is because we do not have full control of what happens to us. Some of these problems are personal in nature, sentimental, social, family, work, etc. It is a difficult and unpleasant part of life, due to unpleasant feelings (anger, sadness, anxiety, frustration, etc.) produced in the person.
In childhood, which is an important stage of the formation of the personality, the development of behaviors and strengths are promoted to allow address in a responsible and healthy way all the issues. If this does not happen will develop negative attitudes (resistance, avoidance) to the problems and sufferings, causing conflicting lives and in some severe cases, mental illness develops.
The author believes that the problems are the boundary between success and failure. Also that it is the route to live with courage and wisdom. According to Dr. Scott, there are four elements representing discipline. The development and application of these, it helps to have healthy lifestyles, balance and successful. These are postponing satisfaction, acceptance of reality, dedication to truth and balance.
Below, we briefly present these 4 elements:
1. Postpone satisfaction:
What five-year old child will be pleased with the responsibilities at home and/or school? Well, it will all depend on the love and discipline they receive from their caregivers. Here is where you must learn to be organized and discipline. Above all, learn to wait and postpone pleasures. In this experience, we teach them to accept and live with the unpleasant feelings generated by ‘problems’. The result is: a responsible adult with character facing their problems and unpleasant feelings because he is aware of the benefits. The adult is able to voluntarily postpone his satisfactions and pleasures.
2. Responsibility:
Being responsible to assume that I am the only one to handle, resolve and face my problems. An alteration of what it means to be responsible could result in the development of two types of people: the neurotic person and the person with a character disorder. The neurotic person is one that alters their sense of real responsibility and assumes too much responsibility (“must “, “should”, “must not”) experiencing the feeling of always being the culprit of the problem and everything that happens to him. This will cause to feel very overwhelm, showing little self- esteem and value, due to everybody else comes first. On the other hand, the person with a character disorder, defined as one who lives in despair with society, avoiding any unpleasant experience involving facing and solving their problems. People who choose not take enough or any responsibility for their life and prefer to automatically think that the world is to blame for everything that happens to them. This results in continuous conflict with the outside world. The reason for this style of thinking goes back to not learning that the suffering and pain is part of life, and help with the spiritual/emotional growth as human beings. Both cases impaired the growth and spiritual/emotional maturity as human beings in life. So, accept responsibility remains the first choice, even if it means, to experience suffering.
3. Dedication to reality:
The more connected, aware the person is to his true reality, the better prepared will be to face and overcome any problems. This will allow acting with courage and having a continuous progress.
4. Balance:
Being organized, living with sanity, spontaneity, flexible and disciplined, even if these means those others may be affected. Here is where you waive the desires and feelings of satisfaction, ecstasy and pleasure, so that it can be painful and uncomfortable, but necessary to advance in life and transcend. Generally speaking, if these practices are adopted in life, there is no doubt that we would be giving us the opportunity to be happy, happier in some cases, even in times of adversity and suffering. It is important to receive and take a look at the discipline and suffering involved in a positive approach to life. Teach it and practice it.
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