Lying Children
Lies during childhood or lying children are complex and it
is often difficult to understand the reasons why they occur. Understanding and
awareness of this phenomenon is important because it helps to prevent and
minimize their occurrence.
When the child lies might be to satisfy his self-esteem.
These needs arise during the development and about 6 years old, the action to
lie is a response to a bad intention. In early childhood, a psychological state
and its surroundings can cause this action to lie and even to be part of their
adult life.
At about the age of 3-4 years old, children through these
experiences, make their own dynamics, imaginative play and share these with
adults and/or other children. This process helps them develop more complex
areas that will impact later the development of their own personality.
Experiences during this process can promote two results:
• The child develops mythomania behavior (pathological
lying) and may permanently live in a world of fantasies even in adulthood.
• The child will learn the value of truth and will later
adopt it as part of their repertoire of moral/ethical behaviors.
The important persons who take care of the child have an
important role in this process. If during this development the child is provided
with care, attention and are taught by modeling guidance and assertive and
positive social behaviors, the child will develop a healthy self-worth. This
will allow the child to balance their personal needs with the demands imposed
by the environment. It will also develop a healthy identity that will help them
adapt to the social world, through self-improvement and competition.
The child who learns to speak the truth, in many cases is
because the unconditional love received, the attention or care for their
emotional and social needs during this process. By not feeling that they must
lie to be accepted and loved, they learn to suppress the desire to lie and
therefore assume the consequences that lead to lie, for example, to be punished
by the bad action incurred. The important people for the affective needs and
nurturing of the child who do not offer care and attention in this process and
does not teach the importance of telling the truth as a principle of self-love,
will be promoting the child to adopt and learn that they need to lie or that
only with lies they will receive recognition, acceptance and importance. This,
in the worst cases could cause a serious psychopathology, because it will be
difficult to distinguish between what is real and unreal, affecting their
social relationships in the future and choose to live a life of fantasy.
The child who has adopted this behavior may do so because:
▪ Need to attract attention, because otherwise the child
would not do it and do not feel important.
▪ At home it is not allowed a genuine self-expression, to freely
behave in the way they want, because there are strict controls and
authoritarian parenthood.
▪ In the home could be a normal and natural behavior of
lying to conflict situations and/or there are problems related to emotional
instability. Therefore, the behavior of lying is imitated as it is normal for
the child.
▪ The child is mocked, ridiculed and devalued when they
appear as they want. Therefore, prefers to lie and live a fantasy to escape
their painful reality (I'm not important).
▪ Nobody takes the time to teach the child that it will be
better if you learn to tell the truth and there is no positive reinforcement to
this action (to tell the truth).
It is important to take time in early child development, to allow
self-expression and to teach the merits and the importance speaking with the
truth. I suggest that instead of paying attention to the lies incurred by the
child, provide more attention to the reasons and motives for lying, giving more
importance to the truth. Reinforce and teach the value of speaking honestly and
real. Promote any action at home that enables a healthy, safe and self-esteem
with the truth. These are just some of the things you can do and think if your
child is lying or in early childhood development (because there is always a
first time).
Tkach, C. (2005). La
mentira Infantil.Tesina.
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